To be with Jesus...

To be with Jesus.
Resting in His arms.
To have no worries.
That's where I want to be.

There are days that I have a chance to sit down, relax, and frankly-just don't want to do any homework that I may have to do.  I want to worship along with the radio and "curl up into Jesus' arms".  Such imagery, I know.  That picture perfect life seems to be all that we can hope for.  What do I have?  That picture perfect life is actually reality...in my eternity.

Right now, I am in a world and on an earth that cares about success-money-perfection-popularity.  In my life, I do try and pursue those things.  Yet, I am never satisfied...but rather broken.  I start to push things away when things do not go my way, things that are not in the right place.  Many around us try and reach perfection-to be wanted and seen as the perfection of what life brings.

But how can we be perfect?  There may be an appearance of perfection-but what about the flaws that came along the way?  After some consideration, I have decided that I don't like the word "PERFECT".  When it is used to describe me by other people, I feel as if I have automatically dropped because of the things I have done to get that reward.  There is a standard attached to what being "perfect" means-and I know that I cannot live up to that, no matter HOW hard I try.  The end result may look perfect, but the flaws along the way make the product polluted, ugly, and in no way perfect.  I know all the flaws that I have, and do not feel worthy to be called that.

YET: For in the eyes of Jesus, the One that I place my life and trust in, He can see me as perfect, and call me perfect even through my flaws.  I can feel free in His arms through all the things that I may and will do wrong.  This doesn't mean that I am free to do whatever I want and know that my relationship with God is covered by the blood of Jesus.  It means, that I do not have to be afraid to TRY.  I have the freedom to be me, to pursue the life God has laid out for me, BECAUSE I have already been seen as perfect.
For example:
When I have an opportunity to share Christ with a friend, I do not have to be afraid of messing up or saying the wrong thing. I put my trust in the Lord to know that I am doing what He has called me to do, and I do not have to be perfect in all my actions.  If I say the wrong thing-stumble over my words, its okay.  I don't have to tear myself apart and worry that this will not work out-because it is in God's hands.

I am not perfect.  And I do not have to be.   And nor do I have to worry about being that person.  I am able to come and rest in Jesus that He holds me close and says that I am perfect, beautiful, in His eyes.

And I LOVE THAT.

I am still trying to understand DAILY what Jesus Christ has done for me.
I don't think that I will ever understand.
But I can TRY.

There is so much that I want to do, so much that I want to understand.
I want my desires to become His for me.
But I don't want to just follow others...

As I think to next semester, next summer...I don't know what I want to do.  My close friends want to go on a Missions trip, work at camps, and I want to do something similar.  With those things, I need to make a decision now, and I just can't do it.  I don't know what I have a passion for, I don't know where God wants me.  I know that God can use me no matter where I am, I just need to ask Him where he wants me.  I WANT to be that person that goes on a Missions trip and change lives for Christ.  I WANT to work with children and teach the Gospel.  I WANT to know what I am supposed to be doing...right now.

But that is not what God wants for me.
He wants me to trust Him.
He wants me to PRAY to find the answer.
He wants me to be ONE with Him.

As a human, we will never understand this life, or have all the answers.  I have to be satisfied with that, and continue to see His way.

Nothing crazy, no crazy rituals.

Just to be with Jesus...

Colton Dixon - You Are
When I can't find the words
To say how much it hurts
You are the healing in my heart
When all that I can see are broken memories
You are the light that's in the dark

(Chorus)
You are the song,
You are the song I'm singing
You are the air,
You are the air I'm breathing
You are the hope,
You are the hope I needed
You are 

And when my circumstance leaves me with empty hands
You are the provider of my needs
When all my dirtiness has left me helpless
You are the rain that washes me

Chorus (x2)

If I had no voice,
If I had no tongue,
I would dance for you like the rising sun.
And when that day comes and I see your face.
I will shout your endless glorious praise. 
(x2)

Chorus x2
Lyrics Video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1Q0mwVsMwo&feature=related