This is just all a lie.
I am 20 years old and I am a Christian who desires to follow the Lord and His way for my life. But why do I sit around and dwell on the lies that are stated above? When I am not focused on the Lord, all these things creep back into the picture. Life is definitely not perfect, but why do we as humans try to make life perfect, when indeed it is not?
It is the weakness of the flesh.
Tonight, I was at the Missionary Dinner at Ashland Baptist Church in Lexington and I was asked along with others to sit at a table with members of the church and share about my summer-the things that I did, what I had learned, what the focus was. And I most definitely made it a bigger deal than it was supposed to. Even up to last week, I was stressed about bringing pictures that we were supposed to bring and yelling at technology as it continually lied to me and I couldn't get all my pictures perfectly the way I wanted it to be. To my surprise, (well, not really) I didn't even use the pictures that I was asked to bring. I managed to still make this night about me as I desired to show people all my pictures and the neat things that I did in Santa Cruz. Yes, to a point this is natural that you want to share what you did with your summer-but I think I left out God...
God seems to take a backseat when I'm stressed.
I just wanted to go back to SCSP when the night was over. The dinner went well, the food was delicious. Yet, I was tired.exhausted.worn out from trying to make this first week of class happen on my own efforts. I wanted things that made my life easier, yet drowning in things that I should give away, but selfishly wanting to keep it all. I wanted to turn to a friend and say that I need encouragement, and I can't do it on my own.
But what is it that I truly NEED?
Wait a moment. There is all this want, want, want, but where have I said that I need something? I keep doing everything on my own and forgetting that I need God. And God alone. I can want my SCSP community back, but what is there is a push to God, the Comforter of my soul. When I am so exhausted, I tend to want human contact and comfort-and that is where I fail, BIG TIME. I have the best place to run to, and it is into my Father's Arms. I can CRY at His feet, FEEL His warm embrace around me. But why do I not go there? This world tries to define it differently and I have fallen into the mold where a hug is what will make me feel better-words will make it all better.
But where is God?
I learned a lot this summer: growing in my time spent with the Lord, learning to be bold and unafraid of others, being patient and a servant. I have forgotten all of that when life takes a different turn. I have neglected to read the Word this week, I have forgotten to let God be sovereign in my life. I have confronted fears, attached them with feelings of brokenness. I have been blessed with great friends, support, and so much more than I can ever ask for.
I decided to make my treasure all the little things in life...
Matthew 6:21 "For where your treasure is, there will be your heart also."
I give this week back to God. He has shown that He can control-and He will always get His way. I have to actively choose to say that every moment is His, just like this summer. It doesn't matter where I am, it only matters that He is here, and never going to leave. So why do I walk away from this great gift? No one ever knows why, but we know that Satan tries to get his way-My God is BIGGER and wins me over every time :)
Pray for me, for us as believers to not walk away from God's Hand in the midst of hardship-but to walk straight into His arms every second of every day. And NEVER walk away from an opportunity to get into His Word and overflow our own cup.
<3 Melinda
1 Peter 5:7 "Give ALL your worries to him, because he CARES about you. " (Emphasis added)
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